“It’s in you Kalayna, so share it…”
I’m still not quite sure what these words mean, but I felt them just now as I sat down to write. It’s hard to feel what exactly needs or wants to be shared, so sharing from my current experience seems to be what works best for me… it is the ‘current’ of my life and the ‘currency’ I have to spend, so why not?
Well, when I feel my ‘current’, my GOD does it feel FULL right now! It is chock full of a mixture of experiences. Some are in the body, some are in the astrals, some of are in my opening and healing human woman’s heart. Sometimes I get a sense that there is a deeper drop to fall back into around some pieces. Sometimes it feels as if there is no answer to come to, only to just keep feeling. Sometimes it feels as if I want to reach out and touch more context than what I have been able to access on a personal level for quite some time now. And I can only imagine that the reason I feel to share this in this moment, has something to do with the context of it all and my own ‘all’ as well. This is something alive in the collective, that I am experiencing and processing personally since it’s all an echo and a reflection of everything else. Everything is everything, no?
I can’t imagine the world outside of me continuing on the way it seems to be struggling to at times. But wait… if I bring this back inward, I can feel how there are some last-ditch efforts being made by parts and metasoul aspects of me that are afraid of the new and unknown world unfolding within, let alone without. It’s that crazy-making yet WONDERful maturation process again. The one we’re all going through. The one that our outside world and our relationships reflect to us, sometimes in intense ways, yet in more and more loving ways too as it all unfolds and our healing continues. You know, it’s one thing to take in teachings about how what you are experiencing on the outside of you is a reflection of what’s on the inside, but it’s a whole other thing to let yourself actually FEEL the truth of it, to experience it on a cell-deep, then soul-deep level and have it just click into place. This is the breeding ground of true awakening experiences and arisings. In another way, there are only so many teachings you actually CAN take in before you need to drop into it through your own experience.
Ah, so this is why I needed to write today…
As I continue on my own emBODYment, enSOULment, enHEARTenment journey and all of the legs that unfold within it, I feel the sharings that come from it all, that need to go out from a place loved-up within. This is what it means to spread and share love, from something that doesn’t need to be conjured or manufactured, but from something that is organically arising and presenting itself for others to take from what they will or can. I believe we are all working to be this, to speak and share from this place, on any and all levels of consciousness. There is an audience there somewhere, wanting and needing to feel what we have to offer and it will help them find their next places. As I take care of myself and my parts, give them air, give them love, care for them deeper than I’ve ever cared for anything in all my life, I feel this creating a flower bud that wants to bloom and spread its fragrance. It is a blossom of femininity, of feminine leadership that has a quality to it that shares without expectation and without a fight to be seen or heard. There is a core wound I am healing around this. Perhaps it’s something that many of you can relate to. It’s a place of raw and vulnerable sharing that doesn’t dump energy ‘out there’ but holds it ‘in here’, feels it as it moves, and loves it because… well… because this is all there is ‘to do’ anymore.
I had no idea where this writing was going to go today. Most days that I write I have no idea where it will ultimately lead, though of course sometimes I am inspired by an idea or think of a line or two and then it just sort of unfolds from there. I am glad to be sharing this raw moment with you, where I can feel something in my heart that is unveiling itself and helping me step up to the microphone in softness. I feel the skeptics among the crowd, I feel the skeptics within. I feel the ways in which this is continuing to rest and heal in me, as long as I feel it. And I feel how there is a growing authority in me too, at the same time… so of course there is a counterpart to this within me… and it’s all ‘good’, now isn’t it? After all, it can only lead me to more love flow anyways and that IS the ‘highest good’ I can possibly imagine…
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.