By Jelelle Awen
Raphael and I in San Sebastian, Mexico
I was feeling tiredness yesterday and today I am feeling in glow and flow….softer, surrendered, open. This is how the waves of energies seem to impact and invite us to ride our own inner waves of emotional body waters, especially in this now of August 2017 and Lion/Lioness/eclipse frequencies. I was with the tiredness that came from some recent situations (growing pains in the best way as our community grows) plus what was DEEP in the collective Metasoul (and mine too) from those of us choosing to lead in so many different expressions and ways in so many timelines and realities (as so many of you shared about yesterday too in resonance). We need to feel this bone and soul deep tiredness at times, be willing to BE with it because it is REAL and we serve ourselves immensely and the collective in our feeling of it.
It was fascinating to me yesterday that sharing from that tiredness, yet, also offering the ultimate choice of love (as being with that tiredness IS a choice of love), I then received probably the most response I have on any of my facebook posts in terms of the amount and volume of comments, likes, and sharings. I so appreciated the vulnerability in many of the comments and the PURE love and appreciation for me and what I am leading and sharing as well. It was overwhelming to be honest and I did some checking in with my guides and Metasoul aspects for support to hold it, let it in, and respond to it and to take my next steps into leadership….moving into the new for myself and away from experiences of the past with ‘crickets’ in the room and very little response. Because I have engaged in much egoic/false self deconstruction work through parts work process and many death/rebirth phases around offering my gifts, there doesn’t seem to be a self image-based version of me grabbing onto this attention, yet rather I feel a ‘beyond personality’ energy inside of me (the higher self coming into body) that responds to serving love…..AND trailing edges/echos of parts of myself that get kicked up and triggered at times too (although this is not much these days.)
It really struck me again how there is so little permission in our 3D culture to feel, to be real…and this seems to have translated to our spiritual/awakening culture as well, although I do feel there is an increasing waking up to this bypassing of emotional reality and the cost of it. The ultimate cost is in what then doesn’t get to feel the light of your love…..creating a shaky foundation for which MUCH energy is needed to keep it all intact to maintain the appearance of being shiny and bright.
I can only share and teach and lead and BE what is emotionally authentic for me…this has taken MANY years of feeling what is not authentic and the parts of me that create these not real frequencies and why. I cannot pretend to be light, high, and UP if I am not. Or spacious and kind if that is not what parts of me are feeling. That doesn’t mean that I get to kick out or abuse or project at others….I hold myself responsible for my emotional reality and its impact in a very deep way (probably more than most souls can even track and at micro levels after many years of parts work.) I don’t feel this realness disqualifies me from leading or teaching, yet, rather is the new grounds of qualification for leadership in New Earth….realness, vulnerability, self permission, NOT pretending to be strong and brave, NOT being a warrior who ‘toughs it out’ yet rather to be soft, open, and also REAL about what we are feeling when it isn’t soft and open. This New Earth leadership empowers every soul to BEcome a leader of themselves, inside, and most importantly at the emotional body level where there is often the most immaturity and unhealed woundings.
The permission I am offering here is what I feel the Divine is also offering us ALL. For so long parts of us have played in this 3D experiment of pretend and get by, worn our masks, and followed the rules. THIS is what is collapsing now as those of us in heart and soul resonance are rebelling against this control system and fake matrix. The rebellion phases can have a lot of RAGE pushed up in them, outrage and necessary advocacy as parts of you say ‘no’ to so much of what they were served and conditioned in.
Another phase seems to be surrender to the Divine yet still with DEEP commitment and sense of the New Earth vision and to living it out in the Now. Not as a future goal or when some grand event happens where everyone ascends at once….yet rather a commitment to the process of it, to the every moment of it, to the ups and downs, to the highs and lows, to the dark and the light. A commitment to the mess of it and to the beauty of it too…..the bliss mess of it. This commitment, really, is to yourself AND to the collective too and that you’ll stay with the process and ‘in the room’ as it all falls apart and is reborn again.
This commitment is to love and the ongoing service of it…NOT just in the good moments yet, rather, in ALL moments. This is a BIG commitment and I feel how so many of you take it seriously and your own processes first of all. Things ARE shifting, New Earth is here in the now, and our commitment to love is offering us the gifts of experiencing the returns of goodness more and more in our daily lives, as we are meant to.
Thank you for BEing on this journey with me and for your choice and commitment to love. I am HONORED and so appreciative that you are HERE!!!
The challenges of this journey of transitioning into New Earth are immense and ‘going it alone’ is an aspect of the old paradigm and lone wolf phase. We are here in SoulFullHeart for support, guidance, community, empowerment, love if you are ready to receive and give:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/services
Raphael Awen and I are hosting one of our heart opening group calls this Saturday to digest all the influxes in ascension energies and how to be with that on an emotional body level through our parts work process:https://www.facebook.com/events/141617019749771